Looking in the mirror and seeing the image of myself I realize that what I see and what I think I should see are quite different. I hadn’t thought that I’d ever seen anyone that I would like to look like until this weekend when it dawned on me that there was someone that I wouldn’t mind looking like. What a shock if I looked in the mirror and Ben Affleck was looking back at me.
I have mostly avoided looking at myself. I would look to see if my hair was combed. I did have hair at one time. But I really avoided looking at my face. As with much of my life I was never accepting of anything as it was. I think now I am more willing to let things just be without hoping they were different.
I’ve made a point of looking at other people to find someone that I would like to look like and never did. I began accepting myself more in the last few years and started paying more attention to what I really do look like. I’m OK with both my looks and my inner self so it almost surprised me when even though I think that Ben Affleck is really a handsome and appealing man I only thought about him staring back from the other side of my mirror when I was thinking about the topic for today’s story.
With my fairly recent self-acceptance and improved self image I wonder what a therapist or some school of psychology would make over this Ben Affleck thing. Probably some suppressed sex thing. Instead of looking into a pool to fall in love with my reflection, all I have to do is get a photo, paste it on my mirror and pretend my mirror image is there.
I won’t do that. I’ll probably just see my own reflection and be glad that I’m not anyone else and let it go at that.
© 18 March 2013
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