In August of 1967, the Vietnam non-war was still in vogue and I had lost my student deferment so I went for a pre-induction physical for the Air Force. The first part was easy – catch a bus to Reno where my recruiter met me and gave me a bus ticket and a packet of information/directions to the induction facility in Oakland, California.
The second part was easy as well – get on the bus for a ride to Oakland. Next came the finding of the hotel where I slept free the night prior to my scheduled physical in the morning. After a juice and roll breakfast I walked to the induction center encountering a street-wise beggar to whom I gave $5.00 naïvely believing he would buy a healthful breakfast. Finally arriving at the center, I began the awful task of completing the background history and health history for both the doctors and the people who would be investigating my past for security clearance purposes. The forms were very long as far as I was concerned and really taxed my brain as to which and when I had childhood diseases and when and where I lived my entire life. If the recruiter had given me the forms before I arrived in Reno, I could have checked the information with my mother rather than causing my brain to fry trying to remember such petty details.
Then the totally unexpected question appeared just above the signature area. “Are you a homosexual?” Followed by, “Have you ever engaged in any homosexual acts?” I hesitated a while before answering these questions. By my then 19 years of age even though I was very naïve, I still knew that I did not want the “world,” especially the Air Force, to know that I did enjoy the guy with guy experimentation I had done. However, I did not know that I would not have been able to enlist if I answered, “Yes” to the first question and I did not want to explain anything if I answered “Yes” to the second question. I also did not want to lie. The long pause that resulted gave me time for my brain to form the following rationalization.
I did enjoy sex-play with guys and I was concerned that I had not “grown out of it” like all of my “play-mates” did. But, due to the fact that I had no access to girls (and I really did want to have sex with them in my mind but not my fantasies) I just figured all would be well once I was away from home and did have access. Therefore, I was not a homosexual, just a virgin. So, I answered both questions with a “No” and pressed on.
The next challenge was standing naked in a line of America’s finest youth and worrying about popping a boner because some of the youths were nicely hung and gorgeous to my libido. I was so nervous though that nothing below stirred.
I finished the physical before noon, caught the bus back home to await my report-for-duty date, and arrived late in the afternoon. My parents didn’t even know I had been gone overnight. I told my mother that I had enlisted about one week before I left home. It might seem cruel to have waited so long, but I spared her three months of worry. I was concerned for her emotions concerning the issue of not just leaving home but leaving home for a potential trip to a war zone. She clearly remembered WW2 and those of her neighbors who did not return alive. So at least this time, I was considerate of her feelings.
© July 2012
About the Author
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.
My story blog is, TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com.
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