Bumper Stickers by Lewis

My favorite bumper sticker has long been that classic example that combines humor, existentialism, and a zinger, all in one--"If you can read this, you are following too close."

I thought I would try to come up with a list of "The 10 Bumper Stickers I Would Like to See but Haven't". Here they are, in no particular order:

* I thought World War II was fought so that I wouldn't have to eat sushi.

* Police are no more racist than the rest of us but they have a license to kill.

* Have you noticed that when a Texan says "Bible" it sounds like "Babel"?

* Boxer shorts must have been invented by a woman.

* Phones seem to be getting smarter while people are getting stupider.

* I wish the Tea Party would "bag it".

* Over the Hillary and "Into the Woods" to Elizabeth's house I go.

* If gays are only 2% of the population, we must possess 98% of the "fabulous".

* If climate change is not a threat because "God is still up there", isn't that what Noah thought?

* And, finally, Your two-year-old knows where your gun is hidden and he's after it.

© 5 January 2015

About the Author

I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and had two children while working as an engineer for the Ford Motor Company. I was married to a wonderful woman for 26 happy years and suddenly realized that life was passing me by. I figured that I should make a change, as our offspring were basically on their own and I wasn't getting any younger. Luckily, a very attractive and personable man just happened to be crossing my path at that time, so the change-over was both fortuitous and smooth. Soon after, I retired and we moved to Denver, my husband's home town. He passed away after 13 blissful years together in October of 2012. I am left to find a new path to fulfillment. One possibility is through writing. Thank goodness, the SAGE Creative Writing Group was there to light the way.