Epiphany by Peg

     Life is an epiphany.


     Beginning with a transition from total dependence for all of our needs, secure and warm, protected and nourished, oblivious of everything beyond the walls of our mother’s womb.  Forces beyond our control begin to squeeze and push, in a while we enter a completely different dimension.  Suddenly we are now separate, an individual and well designed for this new experience.

     When we die, what new dimension will we enter?  What epiphany will that turn out to be?  That answer lies far beyond our understanding.  Some have certainty, others don’t, in my mind I’ll just wait and see.

     I see life as Lewis Carroll wrote, “As through a looking glass.” Picture a window in a wall; from inside, the view is very different from the view observed from outside the glass.  We can interpret the same scene in quite different ways.  Looking in we might see a place of comfort, safety, and security in everything being known and predictable.  To another’s perspective that scene might look confining, stifling and boring.

     The glass has no opinion of it’s own, it doesn’t care.

     From the other side of the glass looking out, one might see danger, uncertainty and insecurity.  To another it calls for exploration and discovery, and perhaps a strong need to experience complete uncertainty.  What each perceives is his or her own personal choice, we alone decide.  It’s our choice; we may experience peace achieved through reasoned negotiation, or war driven by greed and the desire for supremacy.  Life is a series of choices.  All are decided by our own or collective needs and wants.

 

     The glass has no preference it is just there.

 

     The glass is in it’s own dimension, existing both inside and outside at the same time.  If it had eyes it could see both ways at once, if it had a mind it could know every thought produced by each observation.

     The glass doesn’t care what we see or do with the view.  In truth, the glass doesn’t see anything, it doesn’t feel anything or think, it is just there.  It has no preference if the scene is peaceful or a battlefield, is the weather calm or stormy, is it day or night.

     The glass doesn’t care.

     My epiphany?  Long ago I was taught that the glass was there and did care. I believed that the window provided the scenes for us, put there to test us and decide our fates.

     I have since then made my own choice by believing that the window that guides us is a myth.  I am not directed by dogma and I decide myself how to interpret the scenes.  I understood that I can decide my own destiny, that others beliefs and opinions are theirs and my life is mine alone.  If someone has some difficulty with that, they have the problem not me.

     There is no glass there to care. 

     Someone long ago decided otherwise, he believed the glass was there, did care and since he had that belief, he also believed it needed a name; and he called it …  God.

About the Author

I was born and raised in Denver Colorado and I have a divided history, I went to school, learned a trade, served in the military, married and fathered two sons. And I am Trans; I transitioned in 1986 after being fired for “not fitting in to their program”. 18 years ago I fulfilled my lifelong need to shed the package and become female. I continued working in my trade until retiring in 2006. I have been active in PFLAG Denver and served five years on the board of directors, two years as President of our chapter. Living now as a woman has let me be who I always knew I was and I am genuinely happy.