Over the River and through the Woods by Ricky

In my case, the title should be Through the Woods and Over the River. In the 1960’s no one advised me about anything not related to schoolwork. Therefore, I remained confused about my personal, physical, and mental development. I did not even know that my emotional development was deficient. I was naïve about such things and could not see my orientation because "the trees were blocking my 

view of the forest." Metaphorically speaking, I lived my life in the "woods" until the trees began to "thin out" in 1982.

I finally made it through the woods and out into the open during the summer of 2010 when I finally reviewed all the trail signs together and arrived at the conclusion that I am on the correct trail. However, I faced another obstacle – should I cross the river in front of me or remain near the woods for safety.

For the vast majority of my life, I was in denial and did not believe the signs often posted along the trail I was walking. After I accepted that the signs were correct, I pondered for several months if I even wanted to cross that wide and foreboding river.

Eventually, I did cross it when I told the members of my therapy group; I am out of the woods and now across the river. Strangely, when I looked back after that meeting, the “mighty” river appeared to be nothing more than a small creek easily walked over.

All the time I spent fearing the crossing equaled time wasted. My fears were real enough but in my case, groundless and now I am healing mentally and emotionally. I know others will have similar experiences with woods and rivers just as I know some others will have vastly different experiences. 

In life, a person will face many rivers that need crossing and perhaps there will be many woods or even forests to pass through. Different trails have varying opportunities for growth, experiences, development, satisfaction, self-awareness and offer different or strange woods, and rivers. The trick is to select a trail that matches one’s personality, abilities, understanding of the terrain ahead, dedication, preparation, and skills, or the journey may not be very enjoyable.

I hope everyone’s journey is successful and a reasonably pleasant stroll compared to a difficult, stress filled, and dangerous climb or with river crossings filled with turbulent rapids

and packed with piranha.

© 25 June 2012

About the Author

Ricky was born in 1948 in downtown Los Angeles. He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA. Just days prior to turning 8 years old, he was sent to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce.

When reunited with his mother and new stepfather, he lived one summer at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children. His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. He says, “I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”

Ricky's story blog is “TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com”.