A Letter to My Younger Self by Betsy

1952

My Dear Betsy,

What were you thinking. What’s even more important, what were you feeling? For that matter, take some time to think about what you are feeling. Logic is good, but it can get in the way of feeling. Too much logic and you by-pass your feelings, you don’t notice them. How you feel about something is ever so important. After all, your feelings probably determine how you are going to behave, whether you are happy or not, and whether or not you are at peace with the world and with yourself.

I can’t really blame you for acting like you are lost. You ARE lost. It’s hard to look at your feelings isn’t it? You know why that is, don’t you. They are feelings you are not supposed to have. Against the rules of social behavior, right? You’re not supposed to have a girl friend. You’re supposed to have a boy friend. Boys are supposed to excite you, but they don’t. Well, you know, you don’t have to pretend they do. It’s okay to feel as you do about the girls. Have a girl friend, and if hers is a romantic relationship, I understand that it must be secret. Someday you will be able to be at peace with who you really are. It’s true. In the little town in the deep south where you live now, it is unacceptable; in fact, I know of no place where it is acceptable for you to be openly homosexual. The important thing now is for you to recognize your true nature and who you really are and then embrace that, and love yourself. You must be free to love and be loved.

© 10 July 2013

About the Author 

Betsy has been active in the GLBT community including PFLAG, the Denver women’s chorus, OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change). She has been retired from the Human Services field for about 15 years. Since her retirement, her major activities include tennis, camping, traveling, teaching skiing as a volunteer instructor with National Sports Center for the Disabled, and learning. Betsy came out as a lesbian after 25 years of marriage. She has a close relationship with her three children and enjoys spending time with her four grandchildren. Betsy says her greatest and most meaningful enjoyment comes from sharing her life with her partner of 25 years, Gillian Edwards.