Friday, February 26, 2016

I Hate My Hair, by Nicholas


          The famous essayist Nora Ephron once wrote a piece in which she denounced her neck. She said simply that she did not like her neck. It was scrawny and too long and had to be hidden with scarves and turtleneck sweaters. That’s how I feel about hair. I don’t like my hair and I never have. It’s fine, soft, and thin and getting thinner. It never was a color I liked—and gray did not improve over the former brown. It never grew out into any shape or style that was appealing. It grew long but not curly. It grew longer still but never full. It just sort of hung there.

          The standard for beautiful hair, for me, is Danielle Grant, the woman who does the weather on Channel 9. I watch the weather just to watch her hair. Her rich brown tresses hang long over her shoulders in a lustrous waterfall of hair. Her hair shines with a deep luster. I don’t care if it rains or snows or turns sunny, her hair is a beauty to behold.

          Hair has many functions, none of them really all that important. It can be a thing of natural beauty, a fashion statement, a political statement, a symbol and, of course, it was even a musical. In the 1960s, we let our hair grow long and shaggy to show our disdain for an oppressive establishment and our attachment to a new culture of freedom that did not include barbershops. We let our “freak flag” fly, as one song put it.

          In the 1970s, we returned to those few barbershops that survived the ‘60s, and got it cut short—gay short—because we didn’t want to be seen as some kind of hippie longhair redneck. Hair styles came full circle, I guess. What was once a protest of the establishment, became the establishment. Long hair meant you were a right wing crazy conservative. Short hair was the rebellion.

          Of course, we didn’t just go to barbershops. We went to stylists and had our hair styled. And paid a lot more for that styling. When I was first coming out I even had my hair permed once. I wanted curls and decided to torture my hair into curls even if I had to wear a toxic waste dump on my head. It didn’t work. I got curls, alright, but I looked like I had a nice dust mop on top of my head. I looked like Woody Allen on a bad day. I realized that my hair just was not made for fashion.

          Now I just get it mowed now and then, about once a month. It’s like the lawn. Doesn’t really do anything or contribute anything but looks better if it’s kept under control. The problem is that there is too much of it where I don’t need it, like ears and nose, and not enough where I do want it. I go to the cheapest barber I know and for $10 get whatever excess is there clipped to a reasonable shortness. I like my hair best when I don’t have to think about it.

          It would be nice to keep up with fashion, but I’ve given up. I would love to die it blue or purple, colors I really like in other people’s hair. But on me, it would just look silly. Beyond the basic requirement of workable hair, I don’t have that fashion persona to pull it off. You know how some people can walk down a street like they’re walking across a stage. I’m just trying to get a bus home before somebody stops and says, “God, what did you do to your hair?”

© 15 Jan 2015 

About the Author 

Nicholas grew up in Cleveland, then grew up in San Francisco, and is now growing up in Denver. He retired from work with non-profits in 2009 and now bicycles, gardens, cooks, does yoga, writes stories, and loves to go out for coffee.

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