KEEPING THE PEACE
...IN EIGHT EXTREMELY DIFFICULT STEPS
(OR LEWIS' RULES OF ORDER)
1. Don't interrupt your adversary. Listen fully until you understand completely their position.
2. Say back to him or her what you think they said. "Did I get that right?"
3. If they say, "That's not what I said (or meant)", ask them to repeat. If they say, "Yes, that's right", continue.
4. Tell them specifically why you disagree. Ask them to repeat what you just said.
5. When the area of disagreement is clear to both parties, then: a) agree to disagree, or b) agree to break off the discussion until another day or until a mediator can be brought in or until areas of disagreement can be clarified or fact-finding takes place.
6. Never shout, threaten, or resort to ad hominem attacks.
7. Never make the argument personal or ego-centered.
8. Apologize if you step over the line. [Never be afraid to admit that you are wrong.]
9. Remember, above all, that cutting the baby in half is no substitute for lacking humility.
© 10 June 2013
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