Thursday, August 4, 2016

Disconnect and Fear in the Aftermath of the Orlando Massacre, by Donaciano Martinez


There is a major disconnect between the experiences of LGBTQ young people of color and the broader LGBTQ community. That was the main message behind the need for a separate vigil that took place in mid-June 2016 in Denver to remember the victims of the Orlando massacre. Organized by the nonprofit Survivors Organizing for Liberation (SOL) and Buried Seedz of Resistance (BSEEDZ), a youth project of SOL, the vigil was led by LGBTQ young people of color.

The separate vigil was in direct response to the first vigil that was hastily organized at a Denver gay nightclub that featured speeches by public officials and spokespeople from a few nonprofit organizations. When two carloads of SOL and BSEEDZ activists arrived at the nightclub, they were shocked at the extensive presence of police officers who were searching people as they entered the building. Appalled, SOL and BSEEDZ activists unanimously decided not to attend the event.

“The history of queer and trans communal spaces are rooted in acts of resistance against police brutality,” proclaimed the public statement of BSEEDZ and SOL in direct reference to the 1969 Stonewall Rebellion, which is widely recognized as the start of the movement that has evolved to the modern-day fight for human rights for LGBTQ people. “We refuse to accept suggestions that increased police presence in our queer and trans spaces will improve risks of violence or increase any sense of safety.”

The BSEEDZ and SOL vigil was attended by a diverse group of about 100 people from the Latina/Latino, Muslim, LGBTQ, American Indian, Two-Spirit communities and allies. In addition to remembering and reading the names of the victims of the Orlando massacre, attendees paid tribute to and read the names of 14 trans women of color who have been murdered so far in 2016.

“We wanted to let everybody know and remind folks that this isn’t an isolated incident, that this has been happening, that we forget the 25 plus transwomen who were murdered last year, the 14 transwomen who have already been murdered this year,” stated BSEEDZ activist Diana Amaya at the start of the vigil. “All of this is just part of genocide to our people."

The murders of 25 transwomen last year marked the deadliest on record for transgender people in the U.S., according to statistics tracked by SOL and other nonprofit entities that are part of the National Coalition of Anti Violence Programs (NCAVP). According to NCAVP, last year’s record does not include trans women whose deaths were not reported or investigated nor do the statistics include victims whose gender was misidentified or not even recognized by police and the media.

Speaking about why LGBTQ young people of color oftentimes feel disconnected from Denver’s Pride event that has been organized annually over the past 40 years by the nonprofit GLBT Community Center, a BSEEDZ activist noted that it “hurts so much” that Pride’s history is being erased and that the LGBTQ largest organizations “sell out.” Attendees were urged to remember Pride’s history, which started as an act of resistance at the Stonewall Rebellion.

Other vigil speakers included an American Indian Two-Spirit individual who is transgender from female to male. Recognizing the privilege that comes with being a man, he said his life has been so much easier as a man and he has been negligent upon forgetting that other people in the LGBTQ community are not as fortunate as he is as a man. One mother spoke about being “scared” and having a “hard time” upon learning that her child is a transboy. Another woman attendee recounted her gay brother’s recent experience of being escorted off stage at his college graduation when he raised his fist and yelled the “Orlando” word.

Ayla Sullivan and Emery Vela, both members of the slam poetry team called Minor Disturbance, read a poem they wrote for the occasion. Before reading the poem to the attendees, they acknowledged: “Queerness has not always been something that was shamed before the colonizers came, it was something that was sacred. It was something that was beautiful and it’s still something that is beautiful.”

Addressing the irrational fears of LGBTQ people and Muslims, BSEEDZ activist Amanas pointed out that the Orlando killer’s Muslim identity makes all Muslims vulnerable to acts of violence by white racists. “We know Islamophobia and homophobia as the same monster known by different names,” said Amanas, who urged vigil attendees to break the fast during the Muslim religious season of Ramadan by sharing a bowl of dates with other people.

Fear was the topic of a recent communication sent to the constituents of Denver City Council (DCC) elected member Robin Kniech, an open lesbian who represents all of Denver as the at-large representative at DCC. She stated that, despite the vigils and the camaraderie at Denver’s Pride parade (which she noted had fewer spectators this year), she is “not feeling better” nowadays. “Most of my LGBTQ friends and colleagues don’t report feeling better, not when you ask them privately,” she added.

“The reason I don’t feel better is because I feel fear,” proclaimed Representative Kniech. “And for me, it isn’t a new fear. It’s about fears I’ve long held. Fears I struggled with, tried to talk myself out of, suppressed. The inability to shake the feeling that all of these fears were real and true after all. That at some point, someone who has real issues with gay people, will want to hurt me because of who I am. Hurt my partner. My son because he is with me. My friends. I am afraid, and angry about my fear. In a state where I’m protected from being fired, could get married, and was elected as an out lesbian, I am once again thinking twice about whether and where to hold hands with my partner.”

Acknowledging that she has a certain privilege status despite being a woman and an out lesbian, DCC Representative Kniech stated: “Many folks who see me on the street don’t assume I’m gay, and I’m white in a world where violence still happens less to those of my ethnic background. So I feel even more fear for those in our community who don’t share those privileges. And more anger about that fear.”

Regarding many people’s rush to prove that the “terrorists haven’t won” in an effort to resume a life of normalcy, Representative Kniech declared: “I write this piece to honor pausing. Pausing to feel and name the personal fear and pain that was lying in wait and has been triggered by these events, whether among Latino/a or LGBTQ folks, those impacted by other forms of gun violence, or others. I don’t think naming this personal pain disrespects those who were lost, or the causes that have to be fought.”

Upon addressing the issue that pausing to face the fear and pain somehow means that the terrorists have achieved their goal of making people emotionally paralyzed from fear, Representative Kniech ended her insightful communication by stating: “It doesn’t reward terrorists. In fact, I think talking about fear, and how dangerous it can be, within ourselves, or motivating evil acts by others, might be important to really changing the world where these acts of hate motivated by fear are proliferating.”

© 12 Jul 2016 

About the Author 



Since 1964 Donaciano Martinez has been an activist in peace and social justice movements in Colorado. His activism began in 1964 by knocking on doors to urge people to vote for peace and justice, but in 1965 he and other activists began marching in the streets to protest against war and injustice. His family was part of a big migration of Mexican-Americans from northern New Mexico to Colorado Springs in the 1940s. He lived in Colorado Springs until 1975 and then moved to Denver, where he still resides. He was among 20 people arrested and jailed in Colorado Springs during a 1972 protest in support of the United Farm Workers union that was co-founded by Cesar Chavez and Dolores Huerta. For his many years of activism, Martinez received the 1998 Equality Award, 1999 Founders Award, 2000 Paul Hunter Award, 2001 Community Activist Award, 2005 Movement Veterans Award, 2006 Champion of Health Award, 2008 Cesar Chavez Award, 2013 Lifetime Achievement Award, and the 2013 Pendleton Award. La Gente Unida, a nonprofit co-founded by Martinez, received the 2002 Civil Rights Award. The year 2014 marked the 50-year anniversary of his volunteer work in numerous nonprofit situations.

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