I remember seeing a cartoon one day
in The New Yorker magazine, a
publication famous for its topical cartoons. It showed two men, presumably gay,
walking out of a movie theatre that was showing some male-female romantic
movie. One man says to the other: “I’m tired of extrapolating.”
He meant, of course, he was tired of
seeing great loves and the truths of great romances, their trials,
tribulations, joys and triumphs, played out on the big screen by hetero couples
from whom we could all learn about love by pretend-identifying with one or both
of the individuals. Sort of, love in the abstract. Love is universal and I
shouldn’t be concerned that the people shown don’t really look or act like me
and my lovers. I should “extrapolate,” imagine myself and my dilemmas and joys
through them.
That is, of course, a bunch of crap.
And fortunately, we don’t have to put up with that so much anymore.
This past weekend Jamie and I saw two
movies at the Q Cinema film festival at the Denver Film Society not far from
our house. On Friday we saw a dramatic film called Lazy Eye. It might soon show up in commercial release and I highly
recommend seeing it. The story is a fairly ordinary one of two men who briefly
had a passionate connection years back when both were young. They are in their
middle-age 40’s now. There’s been no contact between them for years until one
finds the other and we’re off and running. They reconnect and the passion
soars. Problem is, one has gone on to another relationship and even married
another man. Of course, despite old yearnings, it does not work out. How they
get to that point of finally separating is the beauty of the story and the
film.
Someone remarked that the story could
have been any couple, not necessarily a gay couple. It could have been told
that way. But it wasn’t. It was told by, for and about gay relationships. I
didn’t have to extrapolate. Straight viewers seeing this move could do the
extrapolating now.
Moreover, the story involved two men
comfortably and completely out. Being gay was not the issue. No angst about
anybody’s sexual identity. At this point in my life, I have to say I am totally
over coming out stories. I don’t think the words gay or homosexual are even
mentioned in the movie. We are seeing the fully realized story of two men who
were in love long ago and maybe could be now if it weren’t for the fact of
other choices being made since.
It was a joy to see people who are
gay working out their lives without any specter of closets and prejudices
hanging over them. The story was our story, my story.
The other movie we saw was a documentary
called Political Animals and tells
the stories of the first four lesbians elected to the California state
legislature in the 1990s and later. It’s notable that the first gays elected to
that legislature were women. Gay men in the 1990s were too busy caring for ill
friends and lovers. One of the women—Carole Migden who made an appearance at
the showing—I know personally and we got to reminisce about lesbian and gay
movement days in San Francisco. I was a journalist then and covered politics.
These four brave pioneering women
politicians accomplished a lot like protections for queer youth in schools and
the first statewide domestic partnership recognition. The vile things they had
to hear said about them and all gay people in legislative debates is an
astonishing history lesson. They were brilliant political strategists. It’s
moving to hear their stories about how their politics was not about abstract
ideas and policies but about their own personal lives. It was their story, our
story, my story.
I recommend both these movies.
© July
2016
About the Author
Nicholas grew up in Cleveland,
then grew up in San Francisco, and is now growing up in Denver. He retired from
work with non-profits in 2009 and now bicycles, gardens, cooks, does yoga,
writes stories, and loves to go out for coffee.
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