Tearer, by Ricky

Not to “down-play” the feelings, but tears are nothing more than a physical response to extreme emotions. Tears caused by circumstances that are too horrible to even think about, like: being buried alive or being a passenger on an airliner that is falling to its doom from 40,000 feet or catching the Ebola virus or discovering too late that vampires, werewolves, and zombies are real. Since these thoughts really are too unsettling to think about, I will write about other forms of tears.

Among the less stressful tears in the animal kingdom are the Wire Hair Fox Tearer, the Boston Bull Tearer, and the Scottish Tearer.

Moving up to the next tier on the tear-ladder, most of us can remember Dennis Mitchell, commonly known as Dennis the Menace. His neighbor, Mr. Wilson, considered Dennis to be a Holy Tearer for causing him to shed many tears. Another such boy you may recall is Johnny Dorset who was made famous by O. Henry in his book, The Ransom of Red Chief. Johnny is such a Holy Tearer that his kidnappers paid the boy’s father to take him back. Even The Little Old Lady from Pasadena is known as “The Tearer of Colorado Boulevard” for causing tears in the eyes of all the racers she beat. Hmmmmm. Here’s a thought. Before their son was old enough to know right from wrong, would Joseph and Mary’s many tears caused by a mischievous Jesus label him as being a Holy Tearer?

Many people want to cry tears when extremely happy but can’t, because it would be a patent violation. Some woman owns the rights to all tears. Now known as “Tears of Joy” ®.

If you stop and think about it, we all have been a tearer at one time or another. Most notably when we try to open a small letter or package where the instructions tell us, “To open, tear along the dotted line.” Failing in the act of doing so and crying about it, identifies us as a tearer. People who are very good at tearing are known as tearerists.

To paraphrase FDR, the only thing we must tear-up about is that the Republican Party has again gained control of Congress and the Presidency. Now that is worthy of producing tearerists!

© 23 Oct 2017

About the Author

I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to turning 8 years old in 1956, I began living with my grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents divorced.

When united with my mother and stepfather two years later in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force, I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11 terrorist attack.

I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be therapeutic.

My story blog is TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com