Coping with Loved Ones by Michael King

          After all we are apes and in spite of our self-concepts of advanced culture and civilization we still have the quarrelsome and emotional nature similar to what we see in our wild cousins. Any group, family or pair of humans in association will encounter frustrations and anger either individually or collectively. Our natures can be modified and we can learn to control the way we interact and we can suppress the urge to strike out when upset, but even with those closest to us and that we love the most, we will occasionally have to cope with both their words and actions that bother us as well as our own thoughts and feelings.

          My daughter, yesterday, when I asked her how things were going with their new dog which the whole family loves, said “She has her moments.” I interpreted this to mean that there was a little coping going on.

          My grandparents were always bickering. I decided not to do that. My mother was always bitching and gossiping while my father seldom spoke. I decided to not be like them. I never liked confrontation, arguments or violence so I guess I developed coping techniques that modifies my tendency to strike out, accuse, argue, etc.

          My 25 years of marriages fortunately went by with few disagreements. Merlyn and I don’t argue. However under it all there is that conscious awareness of maintaining mutual respect, courteous and kind interaction and above it all a show of affection, love and understanding while we cope with the amazingly different ways each of us thinks and acts.

          Both of us have been single parents and I’m sure that having experienced the myriad of coping tests one has under those circumstances has helped us develop the abilities to somewhat satisfactorily deal with coping with loved ones.

          I am so grateful to have the privilege of coping with Merlyn. There is nothing I would rather do. It seems that he doesn’t mind coping with me.

About the Author

I go by the drag name, Queen Anne Tique. My real name is Michael King. I am a gay activist who finally came out of the closet at age 70. I live with my lover, Merlyn, in downtown Denver, Colorado. I was married twice, have 3 daughters, 4 grandchildren and a great grandson. Besides volunteering at the GLBT Center and doing the SAGE activities," Telling your Story"," Men's Coffee" and the "Open Art Studio". I am active in Prime Timers and Front Rangers. I now get to do many of the activities that I had hoped to do when I retired; traveling, writing, painting, doing sculpture, cooking and drag.