From the Pulpit by Merlyn

          I’ve been running from the pulpit ever since I was eleven years old. I grew up having to go to a united brotherhood church and never missed a Sunday from the time I was six years old till I was eleven, and I had a five year perfect attendant pin to prove it.

          I was taught that everything was a sin. Dancing, drinking smoking, any kind of sexual activity including masturbating would send me to hell.

          Every summer I was sent to church camp where I remember all of us kids crying as we went up to the pulpit to be saved. Then there were the tent revival meetings where we all had to be saved again and again.

          The thing I remember the most about going to church was sitting there on Sunday watching people. My aunt would be sitting there with her husband even though everyone knew she had a lover; my favorite uncle would be there too, but his gay boyfriend would wait outside in his car. Everyone would be singing the songs and acting so holy when they did communion.


          I hated having to waste every Sunday morning acting the way they did.

          When I was eleven I started making money on a paper route and working for neighbors. My parents made me pay board. I loved it; I did not have to do chores anymore.

          As long I paid my mother every Saturday I was free to do whatever I wanted to do.

          I stopped going to church.

          I started to love Sunday mornings, it was the only time I had to masturbate without someone catching me.

          I don’t think I have been in a church more than 20 times on a Sunday morning in the last 57 years.

          Spiritually I used to wish I could have the blind faith in one of the gods that other people worship but being honest organized religion has never worked for me.

          It took me most of my life to realize that any real spiritual peace that I have ever felt can only come from deep inside of me.

          There’s a feeling deep inside that gives me peace. I know I do my best to live my life and treat others the way I want to be treated. So I don’t let anyone make me feel guilty when I mess up.

          I have had a near death experience that taught me that everything will be ok. I do not think anyone really knows what happens to us after death actual takes place.

About the Author

I'm a retired gay man now living in Denver Colorado with my partner Michael. I grew up in the Detroit area. Through the various kinds of work I have done I have seen most of the United States. I have been involved in technical and mechanical areas my whole life, all kinds of motors and computer systems. I like travel, searching for the unusual and enjoying life each day.