Still Learning by Lewis

After over six decades of thinking of death's impact on me as being akin to getting a bad haircut--ugly for a few days but quickly grown out of--it now seems that I am constantly reminded not only of how bald I am but also how closely death looms, as if I am being followed.

Perhaps, it is the numbness that occasionally settles into the tip of my big toe. Or the odd, sudden tingling bursts of heat that explode down my calves and feet. Or the ever-increasing level of concentration it takes to relieve my ever-less-frequent sexual urges. More likely, it is the feeling that death has taken residence on my street and is dropping in on some of my closest friends, one-by-one, as it makes its way toward my particular residence.

I spend more time reading the obituaries than the comics. I divide the recently-departed into two classifications: those born before me and those born after. Why do I not take comfort in the observation that there are usually four-to-five times more of the former? Is it because I don't think I'll ever make it to 90, as so many others have?

A better question to ask myself would be, "Do I even want to live that long? What is the upside? What haven't I learned that I want to learn? What sight haven't I seen that I want to see?"

Every time I read of a child or youth dying, I think how much I have seen that they will never see, how much life I have experienced that they will never know and I ask myself, "What is it that makes me enjoy living?" I've already ruled out wealth, status, and driving a Porsche around the streets of Capitol Hill. Still on my short list are making everyone's quality of life better, staying relatively healthy through exercise, seeing every 'Best Picture" Oscar-nominee before the end of February, making new friends, and dying before I run out of money.

All of these have something in common for me: they are about LOVING--love for life, love for justice, love for my others, and love for my family. Of all the things that I have learned throughout my life, the one that stands out is this: no stock or commodity ever yields as high a return as love well-invested. It is my truth that, though the brain can learn, only the heart can teach.

November 16, 2013 (Laurin's and my 10th Anniversary)

About the Author

I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and I came to the beautiful state of Colorado out of my native Kansas by way of Michigan, the state where I married and had two children while working as an engineer for the Ford Motor Company. I was married to a wonderful woman for 26 happy years and suddenly realized that life was passing me by. I figured that I should make a change, as our offspring were basically on their own and I wasn't getting any younger. Luckily, a very attractive and personable man just happened to be crossing my path at that time, so the change-over was both fortuitous and smooth. Soon after, I retired and we moved to Denver, my husband's home town. He passed away after 13 blissful years together in October of 2012. I am left to find a new path to fulfillment. One possibility is through writing. Thank goodness, the SAGE Creative Writing Group was there to light the way.