I’ve had so many accidents that I don’t know which single one stands out or has most affected my life. One was the first pregnancy that was unexpected and changed the course of my life. Knowing that I was to become a father guided all my decisions and thwarted opportunities but also provided some of my most rewarding experiences. Probably the other most life changing accident was getting my little finger nearly cut off.
I was working as a mold maker for fine arts bronzes and doing catering on the side. I got a call from a nurse in the lock-up psychiatric ward a St. Luke’s Hospital. It was her turn to do the annual Halloween party and she needed to do something with her mother so decided to hire me to do the party.
I had too much stuff to carry over to the hospital in the car so I borrowed a friend’s new pick-up. All went well. I was an interesting experience very different from any other as the behaviors of the patients were anything but normal. After returning home I was carrying the last load into the kitchen. Apparently the weight of my walking across the floor was enough to cause a mixing bowl to fall out of the dish rack and hit the sink breaking it into many pieces. One of the pieces wrapped around my little finger and severed the tendons and nerves. I knew I had to go to the emergency room, grabbed a towel, wrapped my hand and drove to St. Anthony’s. Blood was everywhere including on the leather seat of the pick-up. I felt myself losing consciousness and didn’t park very straight in the lot. I managed to get into the reception room dropped my billfold on the desk and fell into a seat letting the towel drop. It shot blood across the room. Almost immediately they were there to take me into ER. After about 1 ½ hours they got the bleeding to stop. I was weak and hungry. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and it was around 7 PM, I’m guessing. I hadn’t had a cigarette for hours.
I was going have to wait for surgery and even though I knew there were probably rules I lit up a cigarette and settled in for what became a very long wait. Of course I was told I couldn’t smoke there and I demanded they tell me where I could smoke because I sure as hell wasn’t going to go without a cigarette. This was in 1979. I was on a gurney and they rolled out into the hall where I was allowed to smoke. I’m sure that they knew that no matter what I would have gone outside or something and they had me pegged as a trouble maker and a number one asshole. Smoking in the hall would never happen today since there is absolutely no smoking in hospitals. There was no food available but at least I could smoke.
About five or more hours later I was finally taken into surgery. They tried to put up a screen so I couldn’t see the surgery but finally let me since I wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was so strange to see my arm devoid of blood and only the size of the bone. Each nerve and each tendon had to be reconnected by using magnification and miniature stitches. It took an incredible skill and was fascinating to watch.
Immediately after surgery I was taken into my room and the poor nurse’s aide was told in no uncertain terms that I was to have a steak immediately. She left the room shaking and I didn’t know if I would get food or not. It really wasn’t that long until someone else brought me a Salisbury steak. I still remember how delicious it was. I’m sure I must have felt a little guilt for having yelled, demanded and intimidated so many people, but I was also appreciative that it was over or so I thought.
My daughter was able to clean the blood off the leather seat of the pick-up. The following week was not comfortable keeping my hand above my heart and I was limited in doing anything while experiencing a great deal of pain. My mold making days were over. Catering was out of the question but I was optimistic and did the therapy and all seemed well. I had great movement with my finger as if the accident had never happened.
In December my mother-in-law came for Christmas. As I was setting up her room I lifted the night stand to move it a couple of feet when a tendon popped. I think it was Friday and since I was not in pain I decided to wait till Monday to call the doctor. I was in good spirits and figured it could be fixed. The next day I was horsing around with my son-in law when I caught my finger somehow I think on his shirt, another pop.
I was in no pain, and with the holidays we decided to schedule the next surgery in early January. We had a wonderful Christmas that year and I don’t recall being that concerned that I had no job and no plans. Somehow things would work out so I enjoyed the holidays.
The plastic surgeon wanted to do the repairs in his office. He had told me I had three options; cut the finger off, leave it dangling or redo the surgery. I felt that repairing it was the only choice. I didn’t think to question the decision to do it in his office and proceeded to have the microsurgery there only to find out that it was not covered by my insurance. If it had been in the hospital it would have been covered. Therapy was not covered either and I ended up with a crocked finger that constantly felt like it was asleep as it tingled for the next dozen or so years. I told the doctor that he would receive $25 a month for the rest of my life as I didn’t have access to the many, many thousands of dollars that I was billed for.
I had been studying The Urantia Book since 1975 and found out that they were opening a school in Boulder for students of the Urantia Book. I didn’t know how I could swing it but typed out the application with one hand and was accepted.
That experience is among the best things that have happened in my life. If I had not had the accident I would not have gone to the Boulder School and I have no idea where my life would have gone. I found part time work and managed to graduate with the first class in 1984.
About the first week in December, 1982, I got a call from the surgeon’s office telling me that the doctor was cancelling my debt, “Merry Christmas.”
I don’t like to be superstitious and feel that it’s more that that. It’s more than coincidence, but a kind of guidance when my life has been turned upside down through happenings like the accident with my little finger which made an opening for a new direction and life changing events.
Denver, 7/22/2013
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