Ticking Away - Homophobes, by Nicholas

I was feeling just kind of stupid the other day so I did what you do when you feel just kind of stupid: I turned on the TV. Surfing the channels, I came across a CNN show talking about the attacks in France that left 12 journalists and 5 others dead. One commentator was identified as being from the Catholic League, a conservative Catholic organization. This spokesman started by, of course, condemning the violent attacks but then went on to say how he thought the cartoonists of Charlie Hebdo, who also ran items lampooning Catholic hierarchs, were provocateurs and pornographers and if they hadn’t done what they did, they would be alive today. The first part of his statement was delivered in bland, white-guy-speak; but when he began criticizing the victims, whom he clearly didn’t like, his dull, fat face fairly well lit up with determination. This is what he really wanted to say. I don’t know if this man is prone to violence, but he displayed an attitude of contempt for the victims.

What makes homophobes tick? Probably much of the same thing that makes all phobes--racists, anti-Semites, women-haters and murderous jihadists--tick. The time bomb of intolerance they carry around.

          I’m right, says the phobe, my culture and religion tell me I’m right and you’re wrong and therefore I have the right, maybe the duty, to attack you, beat you, even kill you. Getting angry isn’t enough. I’m entitled to get even.

Start with a conviction of superiority and power, add a sense of entitlement and plain old egoism, sprinkle with self-righteousness and every imagined criticism becomes a threat to be answered with explosive violence. Clearly, this good Catholic, supposed Christian didn’t mind at all that 12 people he didn’t like lost their lives. They shouldn’t have done what they did. They shouldn’t bug people like me. We’re entitled to defend ourselves against such bad behavior as making fun of the pope or the prophet. That line used to be commonly used against gay people: if you didn’t flaunt it (i.e., live openly) you wouldn’t antagonize those who don’t like you and maybe then we wouldn’t have to beat you up.

          It’s the classic rationale of the bully, full of egoism and entitlement and yet self-pity. Phobe equals bully. They think the world is theirs and others are allowed in only in so far as they do not impinge on preconceived notions. And those preconceived notions and common prejudices frequently get bundled up with high flying notions like it’s god’s will and law or it’s the bedrock of civilization. Of course, we know that civilization has no bedrock; it’s really a fragile thing.

          What makes phobes tick? Self-righteousness, anger, helplessness, isolation, fear of change—all the ingredients of prejudice, discrimination, homophobia.

          But while the racist, anti-semite, and woman-hater can separate himself from those he hates, it’s more difficult with sexual discrimination because everybody has a sexuality. This prejudice hits inside. Some straight men fear that if they accept gay men they will become gay themselves or, just as bad, others will see them as gay. Their presumed code of manhood will unravel. And if they accept lesbian women, they become useless and irrelevant instead of dominant. Sexual prejudice has that unique quality of turning the political into the very, very personal.

          I recently saw a refrigerator magnet that read: “Why should you mind that I’m gay? I don’t mind that you’re an idiot.” In our multi-cultural world, that could be the best we can do in establishing mutual tolerance. Ultimately, I don’t care what makes phobes tick just so they keep their ticking away from me.

Intolerance, as we’ve just seen, is a lit stick of dynamite set to explode. It comes from a sense of helplessness in a world that offers plenty that is offensive to what you hold dear. We’re all entitled to be angry when offended. But we are not entitled to abuse anybody else with our anger. Sometimes, “fuck you” has to be enough.

Nous sommes tous Charlie.

© 22 Apr 2015 

About the Author 

Nicholas grew up in Cleveland, then grew up in San Francisco, and is now growing up in Denver. He retired from work with non-profits in 2009 and now bicycles, gardens, cooks, does yoga, writes stories, and loves to go out for coffee.