I was feeling just kind of stupid the
other day so I did what you do when you feel just kind of stupid: I turned on
the TV. Surfing the channels, I came across a CNN show talking about the
attacks in France that left 12 journalists and 5 others dead. One commentator
was identified as being from the Catholic League, a conservative Catholic organization.
This spokesman started by, of course, condemning the violent attacks but then
went on to say how he thought the cartoonists of Charlie Hebdo, who also ran items lampooning Catholic hierarchs,
were provocateurs and pornographers and if they hadn’t done what they did, they
would be alive today. The first part of his statement was delivered in bland,
white-guy-speak; but when he began criticizing the victims, whom he clearly
didn’t like, his dull, fat face fairly well lit up with determination. This is
what he really wanted to say. I don’t know if this man is prone to violence,
but he displayed an attitude of contempt for the victims.
What makes homophobes tick? Probably
much of the same thing that makes all phobes--racists, anti-Semites,
women-haters and murderous jihadists--tick. The time bomb of intolerance they
carry around.
I’m right, says
the phobe, my culture and religion tell me I’m right and you’re wrong and
therefore I have the right, maybe the duty, to attack you, beat you, even kill
you. Getting angry isn’t enough. I’m entitled to get even.
Start with a conviction of
superiority and power, add a sense of entitlement and plain old egoism,
sprinkle with self-righteousness and every imagined criticism becomes a threat
to be answered with explosive violence. Clearly, this good Catholic, supposed Christian
didn’t mind at all that 12 people he didn’t like lost their lives. They
shouldn’t have done what they did. They shouldn’t bug people like me. We’re
entitled to defend ourselves against such bad behavior as making fun of the
pope or the prophet. That line used to be commonly used against gay people: if
you didn’t flaunt it (i.e., live openly) you wouldn’t antagonize those who
don’t like you and maybe then we wouldn’t have to beat you up.
It’s the
classic rationale of the bully, full of egoism and entitlement and yet
self-pity. Phobe equals bully. They think the world is theirs and others are
allowed in only in so far as they do not impinge on preconceived notions. And
those preconceived notions and common prejudices frequently get bundled up with
high flying notions like it’s god’s will and law or it’s the bedrock of
civilization. Of course, we know that civilization has no bedrock; it’s really
a fragile thing.
What makes
phobes tick? Self-righteousness, anger, helplessness, isolation, fear of change—all
the ingredients of prejudice, discrimination, homophobia.
But while the
racist, anti-semite, and woman-hater can separate himself from those he hates,
it’s more difficult with sexual discrimination because everybody has a
sexuality. This prejudice hits inside. Some straight men fear that if they
accept gay men they will become gay themselves or, just as bad, others will see
them as gay. Their presumed code of manhood will unravel. And if they accept
lesbian women, they become useless and irrelevant instead of dominant. Sexual
prejudice has that unique quality of turning the political into the very, very
personal.
I recently saw
a refrigerator magnet that read: “Why should you mind that I’m gay? I don’t
mind that you’re an idiot.” In our multi-cultural world, that could be the best
we can do in establishing mutual tolerance. Ultimately, I don’t care what makes
phobes tick just so they keep their ticking away from me.
Intolerance, as we’ve just seen, is a
lit stick of dynamite set to explode. It comes from a sense of helplessness in
a world that offers plenty that is offensive to what you hold dear. We’re all
entitled to be angry when offended. But we are not entitled to abuse anybody
else with our anger. Sometimes, “fuck you” has to be enough.
Nous sommes tous Charlie.
© 22 Apr
2015
About the Author
Nicholas grew up in
Cleveland, then grew up in San Francisco, and is now growing up in Denver. He
retired from work with non-profits in 2009 and now bicycles, gardens, cooks,
does yoga, writes stories, and loves to go out for coffee.
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