It was a bright and
sunny day, until sundown when it became a dark and stormy night. The Arch Chancellor of The Invisible
University was asleep in his study and all was peaceful except for the flashes
of lightening which illuminated The Invisible University and the resulting
thunder which rattled the massive stone walls.
The Invisible
University was, of course, completely visible at all times. No one still living knew how the university
got its name. Speculation among the more
recent students favored the myth that a preeminent and powerful wizard, who
also happened to be arch chancellor of the university a few centuries past,
cast an invisibility spell to conceal its location. (This theory was actually correct as far as
it went.) The ancient arch chancellor’s goal
was to include “the finding” of the university as part of the entrance exams
for would be wizards. Thus, it was
necessary to make it hard to find as none of the wizards in residence wanted to
be bothered with teaching wizard classes and if the university was invisible,
very few people could find it and the wizards in residence could be about the
business of wizardry and eating without interruptions.
Unfortunately, like
all the wizards in residence, the arch chancellor was only a powerful and
skilled wizard in his own mind and the spell did not work. However, the arch chancellor did not realize
the spell failed and believed that the university and its grounds were now
invisible along with everyone inside, and therefore officially changed the
name. All the resident wizards knew (in
their minds at least) that the arch chancellor was a bright, powerful, and
highly skilled wizard, so they did not for a moment suspect the spell had
failed. (It is a well-known fact that
wizards can see right through working invisibility spells, so not one wizard
suspected the truth.) So, The Invisible
University remained “invisible” in plain sight over the following centuries.
Believing the
university to be invisible, none of the wizards could understand why were there
so many rats in the pantries and larders.
How could the rats even find the invisible university when it can’t be
seen? (Apparently, wizards are so
self-centered they never suspected that other living things could smell food as
well or better than wizards.) They correctly
deduced that the rats were eating much of the food destined for the wizard’s
table four times a day, and also many of the snacks for between meals. Consequently, when a bolt of lightning struck
the arch chancellor's room and powered up a light globe, he awoke with an idea
to solve the problem. The arch
chancellor immediately called a meeting to announce his plan to summon Death,
also known as The Grim Reaper, to complain about the rats and demanding to know
why He did not “reap” them. As usual, no
one wanted to get out of bed OR to
gain say the arch chancellor, so several of the wizards prepared the library
and joined together in forming and casting the spell, and getting a mid-night snack.
This may seem strange
to non-wizards, but Death and wizards have a professional relationship. For example, wizards can see Death and Death
will appear before their time is up and let them know how much time they have
left so they can prepare for the transition. For some unknown reason, children and cats can
also see Death.
The spell was cast
and a very annoyed Death arrived having been summoned from a very pleasant
afternoon on the beaches of Y-Key-Key and into the midst of a leaky and
rattling building on a dark and stormy night.
The
arch chancellor put the question to Death, but then had to resurrect it so he
could ask it to Death (who was not amused by the arch chancellor repeating the
question over and over thus beating it to death.) Death told the arch chancellor to invent a
better rat trap so there would be rats whose spirits needed reaping. Death also explained that reaping rats was
not his job. At this point, Death reached
into his robe and introduced his newest assistant, The Death of Rodents, also
known as The Grim Squeaker.
Death then departed,
returning to his chaise-lounge and piña colada at Y-Key-Key, leaving the
squeaker behind.
Try as they might
(actually the wizards never tried, because one of the cooks brought in a
pregnant cat). The cat along with her eventual brood, kept the Death of Rodents
very busy.
And that is the true
story of how the wizards of The Invisible University saved their food.
Believe it or not!
© 13 October 2014
About the Author
I was born in June of 1948 in Los Angeles, living first in Lawndale
and then in Redondo Beach. Just prior to
turning 8 years old in 1956, I was sent to live with my grandparents on their
farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years during which time my parents
divorced.
When united with my mother and stepfather two years later
in 1958, I lived first at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California,
graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966. After three tours of duty with the Air Force,
I moved to Denver, Colorado where I lived with my wife and four children until
her passing away from complications of breast cancer four days after the 9-11-2001
terrorist attack.
I came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010. I find writing these memories to be
therapeutic.
My story blog is, TheTahoeBoy.Blogspot.com.
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