An Ode to a Toad by Bobbi

Oh, Dr. Laura, now you’re mistaken

I was married but not forsaken.

I met my first woman-love at 45;

Oh, how good it was to feel alive.

Now Dr. Laura don’t be cruel

At 14 I loved a girl.

I know that someone gave me a hex;

‘cause I fell in love with the wrong sex.

Dr. Laura, I really pouted.

“Fairy, queer” were words they shouted.

Oh, God, help me because I’m Jewish

And I shouldn’t do anything so foolish.

Oh, Dr. Laura, I took some pills.

Wish you had been there to cure my ills.

Then I decided to be a phony

And marched down the aisle to matrimony.

Dr. Laura you’d be so proud

In my white gown and what a crowd!

As I was walking in that big room

I was smiling at my …..

Oy vey, it was my maid of honor, not the groom!

Oy, Dr. Laura it was a blast,

But the marriage it didn’t last.

For 20 years I tried another;

After all a Jewish girl has got to please her mother.

Oh, Dr. Laura get a clue.

You want families

I do too.

And I’ve got one to name a few:

Max, Jeanetter, Karen and Pete, Spencer, Rawls, Goobers and

Beebles, Gary, Daric, Frick and Frack, Julie and Robert, Todd and Papa,

And my sweetheart of 13 years: Linda, Linda.

And Dr. Laura, We Are Family!

So, Dr. Laura, get a life, girlfriend.

About the Author

Bobbi, 82, a native Denverite, came out at age 45. "Glad to be alive."