Mother Goose and Granny - Revisited by Ricky

            It has been over twenty years since I have given any thought to Granny or Mother Goose products or nursery rhymes, as that was when my youngest child stopped wanting me to read to her.  Now I just have to wait until my granddaughter is around so I can read that stuff again.

          I first encountered Granny Goose in the 1960’s when actor Philip Carey played a macho James Bond type of character, named Granny Goose, in potato chip commercials.  My favorite commercial was the one where Mexican banditos ride up to Granny and one says, “What’s in the bag, Goose?” 

Phillip Carey (1951-2008)

See Phillip Carey as Granny Goose

          Those commercials usually ended with Granny asking, “Now the only question is, are you grown up enough for Granny Goose.” I can assure you that the old cliché, “Idle minds are the Devil’s playground” is quite true. I was in high school in the ‘60’s and it did not take me long to convert Granny’s closing question into “Now the only question is, are you grown up enough to goose Granny?”

          Naturally, I first learned of Mother Goose when I was very young. My parents did read it to me sometimes, when I would sit still so they could. After I began to read, I would read them myself if it was raining and I was bored. I is rather interesting how many of the rhymes people can remember when they become senior citizens of advanced seniority.

          While on-line researching the term “Mother Goose,” I discovered that there are many books published on the topic containing many of the nursery rhymes. As it turns out, I have a copy of one of them in my library.

My Book's Cover

          It is not the rarest one but apparently the most popular (if not famous). In perusing the contents, I managed to read many of the rhymes I remembered and discovered that several were longer or worded different.

          One of the oddest I found was one that completely solves the mystery of the cause of sexual orientation.

A Week of Birthdays

Monday’s child is fair of face,

Tuesday’s child is full of grace,

Wednesday’s child is full of woe,

Thursday’s child has far to go,

Friday’s child is loving and giving,

Saturday’s child works hard for its living,

But the child that’s born on the Sabbath day

Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

           Since there is one Sabbath Day per week and 52-weeks in a year, according to the above rhyme it follows that 14.285% of the population is gay, not the 3 through 10-percent figures often thrown about.  Mystery -- SOLVED.  (Note:  These figures do not include the "Sabbath" days of other religions so the actual percentage would be even higher.)

           Many of the nursery rhymes are supposed to be short lessons on proper or unacceptable behaviors or even warnings. For example, consider:
 

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on a tuffet,

Eating of curds and whey;

There came a big spider,

And sat down beside her,

And frightened Miss Muffet away.

Moral #1: Eating curds and whey attracts big spiders. 

Moral #2: Girls are afraid of spiders. (So am I for that matter but, I don’t run; I attack using deadly force.)

          Also, consider the case of: 

Tom, Tom, the Piper’s Son

Tom, Tom, the Piper’s son,

Stole a pig, and away he run,

The pig was eat,

And Tom was beat,

And Tom ran crying down the street.

Moral:  Getting beat is worth a good meal.

         If you recall I titled this essay “Mother Goose and Granny - Revisited.” What comes next is the revisited part. These rhymes come from my K-8 elementary school days.

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet,

Sat on a tuffet,

Eating curds and whey,

Along came a spider,

And sat down beside her,

And she beat the hell out of it with her spoon.

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet,

Sat on a tuffet,

Eating curds and whey,

Along came a spider,

And sat down beside her,

And she ate that too.

The above nursery rhymes in the blue font are from the book The Real Mother Goose, the 67^th printing in 1977 – Rand McNally & Company.  © 1944

© 20 May 2012

About the Author

Emerald Bay, Lake Tahoe, CA

Ricky was born in June of 1948 in downtown Los Angeles, California. He lived first in Lawndale and then in Redondo Beach both suburbs of LA.  Just prior to turning 8 years old, he went to live with his grandparents on their farm in Isanti County, Minnesota for two years while (unknown to him) his parents obtained a divorce.

When united with his mother and new stepfather, he lived at Emerald Bay and then at South Lake Tahoe, California, graduating from South Tahoe High School in 1966.  After three tours of duty with the Air Force, he moved to Denver, Colorado where he lived with his wife of 27 years and their four children.  His wife passed away from complications of breast cancer four days after 9-11.

He came out as a gay man in the summer of 2010.  "I find writing these memories to be very therapeutic.”

Ricky's story blog is TheTahoeBoy.blogspot.com.