ABCs of Life, by Will Stanton

Some people appear to sail through life with fair weather all the way…at least that may appear to be so to us.  Others of us struggle with the adversities, challenges, slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  All in all, life can be terribly complicated. 

The factors leading to relative ease or discomfort are many.  Human nature is significant.  Some people seem from the get-go to be imbued with great courage and fearlessness.  They blithely charge on without much consideration and seem the happier for it.  Others of us are more circumspect, a trait that can be useful but also can inhibit risk-taking skills, skills that are necessary to begin and to continue action.

Learning is a second, significant factor; and much that is learned is from the home and parents.  That’s why it is so important that, when you are born, pick really great parents, parents who themselves are self-actualized, mature, stabile, educated, cultured, and (not least of all) very rich.  Any lessening of these factors already puts one at a disadvantage. 

Thirdly, one must learn for oneself, learn from experience, good and bad.  If one does not learn from his experiences, he is condemned to repeated, unproductive behaviors and stagnation. 

In learning from life, one develops coping skills.  That term can apply to rational, practical skills, but it also can apply to irrational, impractical behaviors.  The trick is to differentiate between the two.  Sometimes it takes a good therapist to figure that out if one has difficulty doing so. 

Repeating realistic coping skills can lead to practical, productive behaviors.  If one stops to think about his successful skills and to verbalize them, they can be described as “The ABCs of Life.”  In my many years of observing human behavior, I often wonder how many people truly know their ABCs.  The answer to that can be disconcerting if, for example, one is watching the TV show “Cops” and sees a case of a man and woman drunk and on drugs beating each other up, the cops being called, the man shooting at the cops, and then engaging in a high-speed chase with police cars and helicopters in hot pursuit.

Even the best-educated and brightest are prone to unproductive behaviors.  My friend Kathy has an IQ of 160.  Her mind and her lap-top fingers move ten times as fast as most people’s.  Some of her time on the web is in useful pursuit of research information; however, much of her time is wasted by fruitlessly attempting to engage in intelligent dialogues with people who have oatmeal for brains and opinions that outrageously defy fact, reality, and simple, decent empathy for humanity.  The great cartoonist and wit Ashleigh Brilliant once wrote, “One cannot argue with ignorance: ignorance won’t listen; and if it did, it would not understand.”  Yet for years, Kathy has driven herself to distraction attempting, but often failing, to help people see the light.  Fortunately after several thousand attempts, she is beginning to understand the too-often futility of her efforts. 

As for myself, I always have regarded myself as a slow learner.  My nature is always to have felt that the world can be an overwhelming place and its challenges potentially greater than they actually might be.  Having the ability to stop, observe, and think can be a two-edged sword.  On one hand, careful analysis of the world and oneself can be informative and useful.  By now, I gradually have learned some of my ABCs, and they have been useful to me.  I wish that I had known them starting a long time ago. 

On the other hand, too much time spent just thinking about things can preclude action and accomplishment.  Centuries ago, a great Taoist, who was much wiser than I, said the following (in English translation):

“A centipede was happy quite until a toad, in fun, said, ‘Prey, which foot goes before the other one?’  This threw the centipede into such a pitch that he lay distracted in a ditch, wondering how to run.”

© 27 Dec 2012 

About the Author 

 I have had a life-long fascination with people and their life stories.  I also realize that, although my own life has not brought me particular fame or fortune, I too have had some noteworthy experiences and, at times, unusual ones.  Since I joined this Story Time group, I have derived pleasure and satisfaction participating in the group.  I do put some thought and effort into my stories, and I hope that you find them interesting.