My life has been a series of what
I think of as turning the page, leaving the past behind and moving up to a new
level trying to learn more about life and how to be a better person.
The people I left behind were
and always will be a part of my life. I do hold a special place in my heart for
them and the time we shared together. I realize that they are not part of my
life now and would not even know the person that I’m today.
My way of keeping memorials
has been to make a word document, paste whatever I found out on line about
someone from my past and how and when they died, into a doc and saving it in a
folder called old docs with their name on it.
The last time I talked to my
Mother was in 1965, It was during one of the only times that I ever really needed
help, I talked to her and she told me I was on my own. A year later when she called me and told me she wanted me come over and fix
her car I told her no and she let me know if I did not come over right now I
would never be welcome again. I hung up. And I turned the page.
In 1996 I got on line and
looked up my father he died in 93 and is buried in a veteran’s cemetery near
Detroit. I did not go there the last time I was in Michigan.
When I looked up my mother the
only thing I able to find out was on a state of Michigan’s web site that said
the state was holding money from a life insurance policy waiting for someone to
claim it. She died in 1995. There were eight kids in my family and the last
time I checked no one had claimed it. That money would not bring anything good
into my life.
Bobby G was a friend of mine
He is the only friend that was still a part of my life when they died. I met
bobby on line on a men s social web site. He introduced me to Michael at a
coffee shop on a Monday morning when I was passing though Denver a year and a
half ago.
My way of saying goodbye to Bobby
was going on line, reading his profile and sending him a short message even
though I know no one will ever read it. I copied his profile, pasted it into
word and put it into my old docs folder. My message and his account will be
deleted after 90 days of inactively from the web site. But I have his Memorial.
Bobby left a will; he had a
lot of stuff that he wanted to give to his friends.
After his memorial service, his
son opened his apartment for people to come over and take anything they wanted.
Michael wanted a statue of two naked men wrestling. I was not going to take
anything. Bobbie’s son let us in and told us to please take anything we wanted.
Anything left was going to go to the goodwill.
I had been shopping for a new
vacuum cleaner the day before and right next to the front door was a newer yellow
vacuum cleaner. For the first time in my life it felt like it would be OK to
take something from someone who died. I know Bobby would be happy if he knew that
I had it. I will never see it or use it without thinking about him. It reminds
me that the people that really knew who Bobby was are better people today
because of him.
© 28 January 2013
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