Thursday, June 27, 2013

Memorials by Merlyn


My life has been a series of what I think of as turning the page, leaving the past behind and moving up to a new level trying to learn more about life and how to be a better person.

The people I left behind were and always will be a part of my life. I do hold a special place in my heart for them and the time we shared together. I realize that they are not part of my life now and would not even know the person that I’m today.

My way of keeping memorials has been to make a word document, paste whatever I found out on line about someone from my past and how and when they died, into a doc and saving it in a folder called old docs with their name on it.

The last time I talked to my Mother was in 1965, It was during one of the only times that I ever really needed help, I talked to her and she told me I was on my own.  A year later when she called me  and told me she wanted me come over and fix her car I told her no and she let me know if I did not come over right now I would never be welcome again. I hung up. And I turned the page.

In 1996 I got on line and looked up my father he died in 93 and is buried in a veteran’s cemetery near Detroit. I did not go there the last time I was in Michigan.

When I looked up my mother the only thing I able to find out was on a state of Michigan’s web site that said the state was holding money from a life insurance policy waiting for someone to claim it. She died in 1995. There were eight kids in my family and the last time I checked no one had claimed it. That money would not bring anything good into my life.

Bobby G was a friend of mine He is the only friend that was still a part of my life when they died. I met bobby on line on a men s social web site. He introduced me to Michael at a coffee shop on a Monday morning when I was passing though Denver a year and a half ago.

My way of saying goodbye to Bobby was going on line, reading his profile and sending him a short message even though I know no one will ever read it. I copied his profile, pasted it into word and put it into my old docs folder. My message and his account will be deleted after 90 days of inactively from the web site. But I have his Memorial.

Bobby left a will; he had a lot of stuff that he wanted to give to his friends.
After his memorial service, his son opened his apartment for people to come over and take anything they wanted. Michael wanted a statue of two naked men wrestling. I was not going to take anything. Bobbie’s son let us in and told us to please take anything we wanted. Anything left was going to go to the goodwill.

I had been shopping for a new vacuum cleaner the day before and right next to the front door was a newer yellow vacuum cleaner. For the first time in my life it felt like it would be OK to take something from someone who died. I know Bobby would be happy if he knew that I had it. I will never see it or use it without thinking about him. It reminds me that the people that really knew who Bobby was are better people today because of him.

© 28 January 2013


About the Author

I'm a retired gay man now living in Denver Colorado with my partner Michael. I grew up in the Detroit area. Through the various kinds of work I have done I have seen most of the United States. I have been involved in technical and mechanical areas my whole life, all kinds of motors and computer systems. I like travel, searching for the unusual and enjoying life each day.



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